Each To His Own

I have one boy who struggles with reading. Our pediatrician told me, a few years ago, that reading is one of the hardest things for a person to learn.

Our beginning was not good. I tried, multiple times, to teach the ABC’s. It did not help that I was trying to teach the Aleph Bais at the same time. His younger brother, who I was not officially teaching yet, was picking it up better than he was. I decided that it was probably best for my child’s self-esteem if his younger brother did not learn the letters yet.

This child’s older brother finished the entire kindergarten curriculum in 6 months, picked up reading basically on his own I believe – I do not think I really taught the reading part very well, but he picked it up anyways, and he ran with it. He has been a book worm ever since.

The boy in question, however, was the total opposite. Many days I would wonder if he really was trying, and other days I could see that he was, but it did not seem to matter if he was trying or not, it just was torture for the both of us. Most “schooling” involves a lot of reading and writing and worksheets, even homeschool learning. When my son was in kindergarten, I read everything to him, and wrote it all down. When it came to reading, it was 90 minutes of yelling, begging, tantruming, and crying for the both of us. It was work that should have only taken 20 minutes, but every day, without fail, 90 minutes of torture. I dropped the Hebrew reading very quickly, figuring that in the summer hopefully my son would have gotten the hang of English reading, at least a little bit, and we would focus on the Hebrew. Half way through the year I was desperately looking for something to replace the reading we were doing. It was not good for either of us. The other subjects were learned just fine if I read and wrote things down. He was able to talk to me about the subject and about what we had just learned, and he was usually very excited about it all.

One day I saw an email from one of the homeschooling groups I was on. Someone did not need the reading program they were using anymore for she had just finished it with their last child and wanted to pass it along. (It was Hooked on Phonics.) I immediately wrote back asking how much they wanted for it and was very nicely amazed to find out she wanted to give the entire set away for free – she got her money’s worth with her 6 children.

By this time, my son could sound out very simple 3 letter short-a vowel words, but very slowly. When I got the books, I looked them over, and then sat down with my child. I told him we were going to start at the very beginning, even though I know he knows the stuff. I would like him to know the stuff better (and then I demonstrated how fast he needed to read the words.) What I liked about the program is that you can sit for any length of time you want. You do not have to finish a certain amount of stuff in a sitting. The program is meant to be taken and each section repeated as many times as necessary and it is okay if repetition is needed. We would sit together, just the two of us, and read until I felt it was enough, usually either 10 or 15 minutes – just enough time to do some work, but not long enough to cause him to get too frustrated and throw a tantrum. I would make sure I would praise him a lot for each milestone. He started to enjoy it, and very rarely did he try to fight me. This worked, for in just over a year he finished the whole program.

What I have learned since then is that he is a whole word recognition person. It is easier for him to memorize a word than it is to sound it out. I have not done much research on this, and perhaps I should. Honestly, right now I do not have the drive to do so for I do not think it is going to help much, but I could be dead wrong. My whole philosophy has been (especially with him) is to try to get each child to WANT to read. If they want to read, they will read, and eventually they will get there, however long it takes. It has been a long push for the two of us, especially since it did not take very long before the younger brother got ahead and into a higher reading level. I have tried to make the fact that the younger one reads better a non-issue. Each of us has our own strengths. For the most part I think that has worked.

The curriculum that I use for my boys has the parent reading all the material to the child until about the 4th grade for the main reason is that the readings are usually at a higher level than the child can read. Some children can read some of the work before that time, and that is fine. This was something that really made me like the program for my intelligent son could continue on in his studies while he works on his reading and not get left behind. Lately, there have been times when he ASKS me if HE could read! If appropriate, I will let him try, if not, I will tell him I am happy he is excited, but we need to find something else for him to read instead. Slowly the hard work is paying off. I see him reading more and more lately, and the readings are becoming more advanced.

That is, his English reading is more advanced. Hebrew is a totally different story. I think the difference is that he does not know the Hebrew language. He cannot speak Hebrew. In English, at least he can try to guess the word if he has too for he understands what the words around it mean. He cannot do that in Hebrew. He knows the letters but still gets mixed up with the nekudos. Trying to make him read the words while he davens instead of reciting it by memory is torture. My son is in the 4th grade and is maybe on a 1st grade Hebrew reading level (whatever that means).

This past week I was thinking about something that my husband and I were talking about. We were talking about how children mature and that the body and the mind both mature at the same time. I was thinking about my son – nope, he is definitely NOT there yet! 🙂 However, I know at eventually he will get there, they all do. So, if he is not maturing yet physically, then mentally he is not there yet either and perhaps I should not be worrying so much about the reading. The English reading is getting there. He loves languages, and we are having him go through Rosetta Stone in Hebrew and he is really doing well. Maybe I should take a step back, take a deep breath and just wait. He’ll get there.

A Lesson in Lashon Hara

I mentioned in a previous post that homeschooling parents like to take real-time life situations that happen to them, their children or otherwise and make a lesson out of it. It is a way of getting out of using a worksheet or finding/making up a story to prove the point. With a real-time life situation everything is laid out perfectly for us. This weekend was one of those times.

I hope that I am following all the proper procedures for lashon hara. I did some review of the halachas before writing this post. I have tried to make everything ambiguous here in the posting.

“Who is the man who desires life, who loves days to see goodness? Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceitfully.” [Tehillim/Psalms 34:13-14]

My husband has a subscription to a business magazine. As we sat down to dinner he asked me what I knew about a certain topic in the magazine. I had heard about the topic but did not know much about it. He proceeded to tell me all about the article – one person felt a certain something was bad, blogged about it on their website, and what ensued was the shutdown of 80% of a person’s business which affected about 6,000 people’s lives. All in the course of a mere 6 weeks. My husband told me all about the business and how the certain product was made, and then he told me about what was written in the blog. What he told me made my blood boil. If what my husband told me was true, the accuser (without much thought to their own words, or thoughts about doing a real investigation and really trying hard to see the other point of view to make a proper decision,) just slandered another person’s business – FALSELY!

Since the discussion with my husband, I have read the article in the magazine. I have read the blog article of the accuser in question, as well as doing my own investigation to try to find out the truth. What really struck me was not that I disagreed with the person, but that the person seemed to take the fact that their words destroyed thousands of lives almost instantaneously, very lightly. Very, very lightly. Even if one believes that something is hurting others and something needs to be done about it, that fact that one feels they need to take the livelihood away from thousands of workers, they should not just say “oh well.” One needs to understand the implication of “mere words.”

I told my husband that we needed to talk to our children about this. We need to use real life examples that they can possibly understand to try to instill in them what our words can do. Yes, words can create – the world was created with 10 sayings, but our words can also be used to destroy. We talked in depth today at lunch. I told the boys both sides of the story. I told them what I found out with my investigation. I then told them to think about it and we would finish talking at a later time. At supper I brought up the topic again. I asked leading questions like, “was anything wrong with either person”, “what was wrong,” and “why was it wrong and what should the person have done if they felt very strongly about it?”

I know that one talk about this important topic is not enough. I do not think one can learn too much about this topic. (I just recently finished “Guard Your Tongue” with my challah baking friends.) I also know that we did not cover everything that we could cover today. However, I feel it is better to give small amounts of information at a time, for they will not soak up very much if you give a lot at a time.

Now, for a change in thinking, I’m off to go grocery shopping and then to finish my talk for the Homeschool Conference which is in only 2 weeks! (Yikes!) 😀

Pesach

Well, as Pesach is getting close to being finished, I have decided that I actually have time to sit down and write, though my luck the boys will come in from outside or the little one will get up from his nap before I can get very far.

“Ma nishtana hashanah hazeh mikol hashanos” (Why is this year different from other years)?

For some reason this year was very different with all preparations than any in the past. When the boys were younger, I was the soul teacher, and it was easy to take a morning or afternoon and we would all head to one room in the house, tear it apart and clean it. The next day, or the day after, the same thing would happen to another part of the house, until it was all done. I do not remember what happened last year, but this year it was a little different. Firstly, last year I made a mistake – I started in the bedrooms and then worked my way to the basement, (leaving the kitchen for last.) It was a mistake for by the time we did the search for all the chometz, my dear husband was very upset for the rooms had been lived in again and there was absolutely no way we did any cleaning! (I think I vaguely remember after him yelling at me for the umpteenth time, telling him that next year he could do the cleaning…..)

So, this year I vowed not to let that happen again. I decided to start with the least used room, and work up to the most used (messiest) room in the house, and then the kitchen. There was only one problem – now that my boys did set classes online with their Rebbe, how was I going to grab their help for any length of time to clean? We ended up doing a room on a Sunday, and then on a non-school weekday (a Friday – yes, we only do a 4 day “schedule” – more on that in a later post, G-d willing) tackling the basement. We are lucky, there is not much in the basement (on purpose), and it was just cleaned a week or so before for our company that came over. The rest of the house I did the week before Pesach.

Why did I leave it so late? Well, other than just not wanting to drive myself crazy and work in the evenings and get to sleep late, I prefer to take the easy way out. Both cellars were closed off, as well as the garage, a few of the closets and the pantry. I also take the easy way out and make simple meals. I have a nice recipe I use for a whole turkey – I can make a soup, roast turkey, and shnitzel, in less than 2 hours. That is about 4 meals worth of main dishes.

My husband took all the boys to the zoo (2 hours away!) for the day, and that let me clean our room, as well as all the laundry. I won’t mention the bedroom took 4 hours (ouch!) As our room gets to be the “storage” room on a regular basis, it was so nice to get it back again!

I did not teach the week before Pesach, however, the boys attended their online classes. We enjoyed our seders. The boys look forward to jumping frogs, hail landing in their grape juice, and the largest locusts seen. And, while the rest of the parents are taking their children all over town this week, I am taking yet another week off of school and hiding in my room, letting the boys read, run outside, go to the library, and try to fly a kite. Sometimes I feel like a “bad” parent – but then again, I remember I spend quality time with my boys the entire year, and do not have to try to cram it all in to a few days at a time several times a year. It was not all so bad, they did have a bochor who came over for one afternoon and spent several hours with them teaching them different things, as well as another playdate for my youngest the next day.

We are also a one car family, and the weather the last few days has been weird, and I have been letting my husband take the van instead of riding to work on the scooter in the rain. And now, it is nice and sunny, no hail, no rain, and we do not have a car to go to the (local) zoo. Perhaps tomorrow 🙂 And yes, I know tomorrow is erev Yom Tov again, but there is plenty of time to cook and go to the zoo and take showers!

So, for those that read this during Pesach – I wish all of you a wonderful rest of the Yom Tov, and for those that read this afterwards, hope you had a wonderful and Pesach. Hope all of us are able to pull free from our enslavement of our Egypt this year!

(Oh, and yes, all boys came into the room, but they were kind enough to let me finish typing! Yeah!)

4th Annual Jewish Homeschooling Conference

Well, this is going to be a very short blog. Just wanted to post that I will be speaking at the conference this year. I actually just spent quite a bit of time coming up with the description of the talk! I would love to meet those who are going. Here is the topic that I will, IY”H, be talking about: (Now time to write it!)

Wishing everyone a happy cleaning!

Different Perspectives On Bringing Technology Into Our Homes

We will explore various schools of thought about the use of technology to enhance learning. The different philosophies will be expounded upon so that we can choose how to include them in our children’s education.

All registration and current information for the Torah Home Education Conference is at:
http://www.eventbee.com/v/torahhomeeducation

When Mommy is sick

It is hard enough when a dear child is sick, but what happens when you are sick? It is very easy to feel guilty when you cannot teach but the truth is, sometimes the teacher is sick. In a school, they bring in a substitute teacher. Sometimes the substitute teacher can go on a bit in the lessons, however, many times they are more like a babysitter and the students get fun things to do to pass the time. Life happens, it’s okay. So, if schools can do it, why can’t we?

Think of it as a snow day. Occasionally the weather has it so that the principals decide they have to shut down schools for a day or two. What happens then? Well, the students do not get any learning done in school. When we, the teachers, get sick, we have to accept it and do what we need to do to make ourselves better. Call a snow day.

Many times the hard part really comes when we need to figure out what to do with our children while we are sick. A teacher in a school just calls up the school and calls in sick. Unfortunately, homeschooling parents do not have that one luxury. Sometimes there are friends that we can call up and pawn a child or two off on, at least for a few hours so we can rest. Many times we cannot. Many times the children are left to mostly “fend for themselves” while we just show our presence to make sure the house stays standing. Letting children keep themselves busy while we recuperate can be very stressful in itself. Unless one has a maid or a nanny to help around the house, and/or the children are all mature, responsible teenagers, the house will most likely be messier than usual. This anticipation of the messes can put extra stress on the sick parent as they try to prevent disasters. This in turn can prolong our sickness for instead of resting so our bodies can focus energy on healing, our bodies focus on moving and talking and thinking, leaving not much energy to fight off the illness.

What are some tips to help us cope?

1. Ship children off to a friend’s house for a few hours at least so you can rest. Or, alternately, if you are lucky enough to be sick when schools are out, you might be able to hire a teenager to come over to babysit for you (or, if you are good enough, convince them to come for free for the mitzvah of chesed and bikur cholim!)

2. Have extra board/card/other games that the children do not usually get to play to create new excitement and keep them busy.

3. If you are not too awfully sick, and feel you need/want/can, teach the easy stuff to teach while sick. Perhaps you can read a book out loud, or take turns reading. Many times keeping a skeleton of a schedule can help keep a child on track for the day.

4. If the weather allows, make them go OUTSIDE!

5. Above all, ALLOW for a messy house. Lower your expectation. After all, they are just children. Focus on what really is important. Are they safe? Are they fed? Peanut butter sandwiches are fine multiple times a day, and so is cereal. It is okay if occasionally they do not get all the proper food groups. Rest, and feel better. You can clean the house when you are well.

As I am finishing this post, I think I can go back to bed. It is 5:30 am and I think the Tylenol has kicked in enough for me to try to sleep. Last week a few of the boys got sick, were in bed with fevers for a day or so, and then about back to normal. As Day 3 comes along for me, I am struggling to come to terms that it takes longer to get better as we get older. I am thankful for small things though – all the boys were angels yesterday, and I even had a few come up to me asking me if I needed anything (*love*), and even though Daddy was home sick (he’s never home sick, even when he is sick!) it was so nice to have his company.

I am hoping though that it will not be many more hours before I feel well enough to clean the cocoa-jam concoction that is on my floor from wonderful children who were wanting to make a surprise meal of skewers and fruit and um, cocoa and jam. 🙂

Oh, and don’t forget to tell the children that you love them and thank them for any tiny amount of good that they did, that really does make a difference!

Knock, knock! I’m not here, go away!

It is almost 11pm and I should be sleeping. However, I just came back from grocery shopping for the week. This was the only time I was able to do it. There are inches of mud piles all over the breezeway thanks to the wonderful emergence of Spring (B”H!) My kitchen was not cleaned up from supper, I have a broken computer on the main table that we are trying to salvage all our information from via Ubuntu for it does not boot up otherwise (yes, I dropped it ever so nicely on the floor. Positive note – we bought the full coverage warranty that covers drops and as soon as I have about 30 minutes to talk to Dell I will, IY”H.) Our basement bathroom has decided to take in water from the outside over the last year, and there is a nice pool of water on the floor now. Not to mention we are having family over starting tomorrow at about noon. I don’t think I’m teaching tomorrow.

Last week, on the homeschool curriculum list that I am on, there was an email from a mother who admits she hides in the bathroom to eat ice cream. In response, another mother wrote back and was in tears from laughing for she hides in the closet so that she can eat a whole chocolate bar all by herself. There were many emails that came flooding in response to this one mother who hides in the bathroom to get a few moments of “self” time.

Life can be stressful at times. This goes for everyone – even children – not just a homeschool parent. However, for a parent who is at home with their children all day, every day, and every night, it can be harder to deal with. If the other parent is able to be home and help out a bit in the afternoons/evenings, that helps. Some fathers are able to help teach their children a bit, others cannot for their work hours do not let them. We all need our “me” time. It is hard sometimes for children to understand. I had one boy who wanted to go out, just the two of us, and I had to tell him no. Trying to explain that Mommy needs to go out by herself, and only herself, not with any other beautiful boy in tow, is hard. It is not that we do not love them, and it is not that we do not want to be with them (hey, if that were the case, I would not be doing what I’m doing!) it is that sometimes we all need to rejuvenate and change things around so that we feel refreshed and are ready to get back into things.

In our house, the alarm goes off at 7am (sometimes earlier). My husband and I get up. Between getting my husband off to work with a shirt and lunch, making sure the boys are up and do their breakfast routine, school, lunch, piano teaching (my “other” job) and supper, I do not get a break until after 8:30/9 in the evening when the boys go to bed (aside from a few minutes at lunch.) Finding “me” time is tough, which is why I requested to go shopping all by myself tonight – without even my husband, and which is why I only left after 9pm. I don’t usually go that late, for I usually get to go shopping on the weekend, but it did not work out this week.

Anyways, I am going to put on my homeschooling hat and not feel guilty about what the plan will be for tomorrow. It really helps to know that there are many parents who “hide-in-the-bathroom-to-eat-ice-cream” at times, (and yes, I have hidden in the bathroom, but I’m happy to say I don’t eat the ice cream!) This is all normal. This is life. I am hoping I can finish the kitchen in about 10 minutes, put the perishables in the fridge and then go to bed. Tomorrow will be a day to learn life skills (aka house cleaning, hachnas orchim (providing for guests), laundry, etc.) and physical exercise (aka go outside and play in the sun so I can finish cleaning!) I just hope that they do not get too muddy tomorrow before noon so the house looks semi clean when our company arrives…but then again, that might be asking too much for 4 boys… 😉

I’m including a link to an article that was sent this evening that shows a link between more outdoor play and better (and faster) sleep, (and when it is bedtime for the kids, any parent knows that the faster the child goes to sleep, the happier the exhausted parents are!)

Kids Sleep Better with Outdoor Time

‘Night!

Keeping up with… the schools

I used to want to make all the costumes for my children. But that was when they were still little. Now, I’m too busy and it is just too time consuming (and probably more expensive) to do it myself. I admit, I opt for the quickest, easiest, and usually the least expensive way… I order the costumes online (I do most of my shopping online.)

Me to one of the boys, as we are ordering: “Ok, what do you want to be for Purim?”
Son: “SHAKESPEARE!”

Only a homeschooled child…… 🙂 This is coming from a boy who struggles to read, but is able to read one of his books. He enjoys it and he is very proud of that fact that he can read it. This book is all about the life of, well, you guessed it, Shakespeare. Of course I did try to do a search for Shakespeare, but we only found a costume for Juliet. He settled for a policeman.

Many religious homeschooling parents wonder if their child is learning all the religious materials that the children are learning in school. It does not seem like the secular subjects are too much of a worry, but it is all the hebrew/chumash/dikduk/navi/mishnayos, etc. After all, only teachers in schools are qualified to teach the religious stuff. If a child is not in a school, then that child will not learn what needs to be learned, and that child’s neshama is deprived. I have to mention that not all communities are negative towards homeschoolers.

Baruch Hashem, our community is one of those accepting communities. We did have someone come talk to us, not because they felt we were not qualified to teach our children, but he was concerned about the rest of the children – the more children in cheder, the better the children are yiddishkiet wise (of the ones in cheder), and the fact that we have several children not in cheder means the rest of the children are losing out on the possible positive effects of having that many more children in the classroom. (I won’t mention that this person’s wife came up to me one time asking about homeschooling – the cost of the several children they had in school was such a strain on them. Her husband promptly (and in a nice comical way) put a stop to the conversation!)

Of course, like all other parents, we want to give our children the best possible yiddishkiet background as we can, and are always wondering if we are doing the right thing, what can be better, etc. When we were first starting out, the main website that I found was Torah U’Mesorah. I was able to request a catalog so that we could purchase different workbooks and textbooks. They also have a sister site: Chinuch.org. It is a religious website that has content that is contributed by teachers for other teachers to use and the best part is that it is free! When my oldest was in first grade, I found a wonderful workbook/worksheet set for Parshas Beraishis on Chinuch.org. I also ordered a workbook on the Morning Brachos/Shema. This was the kind of stuff they learn in the schools. My son was going to have the same education. So our grade started, and I was very excited about the Chumash worksheets. For a few months we worked through our sheets and book.

Then, one day, it happened. My son and I were sitting at the kitchen table doing our various lessons. I told my son it was time for Chumash. “Do I have to do it?” “Yes.” “Can’t I take out my brachos book today instead?” Huh? What? I have heard that if one is excited about something (and shows it), the other person will get excited about it too. I *THOUGHT* I was showing my excitement for Chumash — I personally preferred the Chumash over the brachos book! And here was my son telling me he hated Chumash. Now, that was the last thing I wanted. I did NOT want my son to hate learning Torah. That day I told my son that yes, we did have to do Chumash. However, I put it away after that lesson. We finished our brachos book, and I spent some more time focusing on parsha for the next several months. After this incident, I had to rethink my whole thinking process regarding our homeschooling.

What was my goal? Was my goal to teach what they taught in school? It took a bit of soul searching, but I finally came up with something concrete. I do know that there are other train of thoughts on this matter, but I need something that works for our family, for our children. My goal is not to necessarily teach what others teach. My goal is to have our children love Hashem and to love Torah and mitzvos. I want my children to know how to learn, to want to learn, and to have the time to learn. Unlike learning how to read, or learning math skills, you do not have to go through Torah in a specific order. Learning is not what how much you have learned. I believe learning is the fact that one IS learning and loves to learn. If one loves to learn, then they will continue to learn and the knowledge will be there, and hopefully, and then some. Once that was laid out very clearly in my mind it became easier to decide what to do.

I focused on what we were doing, and at the same time I kept, at the back of my mind, the idea that I really did want my son to learn Chumash, and I kept an open eye out for when I should try again. About a year or so after we stopped Chumash my son came up to me and started this conversation:

Son: “Mom, why am I not learning Chumash?”
Me: “Did you want to learn it?”
Son: “Yes.”
Me, while smiling so big inside: “Ok, we’ll start!”

He did not start immediately for I believe we started our summer, and we do take summers off in general, at least for a good part of it. We all need our breaks. However, he did get to start his Chumash as soon as we started school again, not with me, but with his new Rebbe, Rabbi Resnick. Room613.net had just started up, and I enrolled my son in his classes.

Did I do the right thing? You tell me. My son loves to learn – Chumash, Navi, Mishnayos… he enjoys it all. Would I make the same decision over again? I do not have to say it, but, yes, yes I would.

Wishing you all a Freilichin Purim!

Our Vacation During Non-Vacation Week

!משנכנס אדר מרבים בשמחה
When Adar enters, happiness increases!

It’s Rosh Chodesh Adar, and there is a lot of good mazal (“luck” – for lack of a better word, when I find one, I’ll replace it) in this month. We are told this month is a good month for success – if one needs to start a new business, get a new job, or just needs success in other matters, this is the month to start things. (Permission was encouraged by the artist for everyone to share the image to encourage the spirit of Purim!)

This week was vacation week for the public (and some private) schools. It was not supposed to be a vacation week over here. The nice thing about homeschooling is that we get to pick our vacation, and it does not have to correspond to what anyone else is doing. However, for a non-vacation week, it sure turned out more like a vacation week – that too is the beauty of homeschooling. We get to change our plans and have unexpected “vacation”, and just make up for it later, either by not taking a vacation at a later date, or by adding a few days onto our school calendar.

Not quite sure what we did at the beginning of the week, but the boys had a few days off from their learning with their Rebbe (room613.net), and on Monday we got most of our learning done in 2 hours – all three boys! We learned something new – one of my boys is a late reader, and begged me to let him do his reading opposed to having me do all his reading for him.

Tuesday I decided it was time to clean. It was a hard morning. I have one child who, because of his personality and his wonderful attributes, just cannot clean! It does not matter what creative way I try, it is like pulling teeth to get him to do anything. I have to say, I personally clean his room several times a year when I get fed up with it and fed up with trying to get it clean otherwise. Last time I did it was about a month ago when I bought some nice Closet Maid cubbies, along with the cloth baskets to go inside, thinking if there was something to store things in, it would help, at least a little. But this time the room was worse than ever. After all the other boys and I cleaned the rest of the house, and after trying for 3 hours to get him to clean, I went in and spent an hour cleaning. I thought the funny part was when he came in and huffed and fell on top of the bed complaining that he does all the work in the house (as I’m finishing up cleaning his room!) I was not quite sure what to say to him at that point. Our house is still fairly clean (and surprisingly so is this boy’s room!)

Yesterday we had to go to the scout store to get needed items for all the boys (and even the 2 year old). Anyone who has boys and lives in the US, Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts is definitely recommended! (There are only 2 countries in the world that do NOT have co-ed Scouts – the US and I *think* South Africa — definitely not Canada nor Israel). The scout store is like a totally kosher candy store. Normally, the boys need to look for hechshers (kosher symbols) on the candy, but in a totally kosher candy store, the only limit is what I say. Same goes for a toy store. Normally I say “NO” to most things the boys ask me (and then I feel like a bad mom), however, in the scout store, I just let them roam around and “oo” and “ahhh” at everything on the shelves and then pick out what they want.

All three boys sold a lot of (kosher) popcorn as a fundraiser for scouting (totaling around $4000 worth of popcorn! Yeah boys!) For prizes, they each got gift cards. Two boys chose cards for the scout store… and yesterday was D-Day. So, we made 3 different kinds of slime, I have a 2 year old who was excited for his “TV” (translation: ATV – All Terrain Vehicle) that was made of wood that he will be painting this afternoon. I had string tied across my living room and had space derby vehicles whizzing by. I have 2 bear bells that keep dinging around the house (yes – bear bells — bells to wear in the woods when there might be a bear, and since I could not come up with a good reason not to get them, they got them for of course, the scout motto is “Be Prepared!”) I actually felt like the stereotypical “Homeschool Parent” (see the image on my previous post!)

Today, my oldest went out for a scout camp out. For some reason, no one would go into the car when it was time. We were all finally in the car, I was going to pick up a boy down the street as well…… and then the car wouldn’t start. Baruch Hashem, the other mother was home and was able to take both boys to the camp. I purchased an AAA membership a few months ago (for the first time in about 8 years), and gave them a call.

Now, here is where religious-homeschool parents will take out their creative juices, for instead of just learning from a story or a book in school about things such as middos (character traits) and other lessons that need learning, homeschooling children many times learn through experience. After AAA came and boosted the van, we drove down to the mechanics to get a new battery. On the way, the boys and I discussed the events of the morning. Even though it looks like it was a bad morning – the van died, we missed the market, and we needed to get a new battery – we have to understand that we do not know what MIGHT have happened if things did not go the way they did. Hashem set up today months ago and put us in a position that we decided we needed an AAA membership. Perhaps if the van did not die, we would have left on time and would have gotten into an accident. Perhaps if the battery did not die this morning, it would have died in a very inconvenient time and place (like on the road in between towns, etc.) Each experience we have, each decision we make, molds us. By taking being able to teach Torah thoughts and attitudes through living examples ingrains the lessons inside the neshama.

Well, I was going to talk a bit about our Limudei Kodesh studies, for that is always a hot topic for Jewish Homeschoolers, but I guess that is part of homeschooling too – sometimes we step out of our routines!

Homeschool – “What I Really Do”

Thought this was a great picture that I found on Facebook. Hope you enjoy it too! (Clicking on the image will bring it up in a new tab/window so you can read it.)

On vacation I see many posts on Facebook from mothers who send their children to school. They get so excited about the end of vacation for they are at their wits end and need the break. I smile every time I read/see or hear such remarks, not because I think I’m better of than they are, but I smile out of experience and wisdom. Since my oldest did go to school for one year, I know what it is like to not have him home most of the day and then to have him home all day. I did get used to not having him home, I got into a routine. It definitely was a change when he came home. However, I worked on myself when we decided to homeschool, and now I deal with all my children all day, every day and night.

I usually have to restrain myself from making the homeschool parent comment, but I do admit that sometimes my friends do set themselves up and I occasionally do let myself to (very respectfully) make that comment. 🙂

When mothers comment on snow days and how it is very difficult for them to deal with it, I will comment and tell them that Harper Academy is open! We don’t close down for snow days. We close down for nice, warm, delicious, gorgeous spring and summer days. Ah, those are wonderful days. They are never planned. We wake up, usually start the day, and as I look out longingly at the wonderful calling sunshine, I will look at the boys and I say, “Ok, outside!” Sometimes we will go next door to the park, other times we just go out in the back and enjoy ourselves there. Even when we don’t take the “day off”, we sometimes go outside to have picnics. It is nice to be able to enjoy the outside with others.

It is not always fun and games, as any homeschool parent knows. There are many pros and cons, just as with anything in life. With 4 busy boys, it is basically impossible to keep the house clean like I want it. Yes, my house gets messy during the day. Some days are really bad. However, usually within a day or so, I am able to get it back to “normal.” It is a constant battle. And the worst thing is that it seems that people want to actually come to my house when it is the messiest! As the boys get older, it gets a little bit easier to have them help around the house. I like to think it is slowly getting better.

I do not get very much time off. I am mother, teacher, babysitter, etc. to my children all day, every day and every night. My husband goes and works and I am home all day. Sometimes I just need to get out. When they were younger it was hard. I always had a hard time getting a babysitter for I never knew any. We have all boys, and I felt it just was not proper as they got older than toddlers to have girls all the time. To find a boy babysitter is always difficult. My oldest is now old enough and mature enough that we do take advantage of that, and in the afternoons or evenings when I need to go out to the store, I can now go by myself. But I try not to take advantage of that too often.

There are a few others things I could list, but instead, I like to focus on all the wonderful positives. There is the obvious – it is nice to see my children grow and learn. They have, and continue to test me and try me, and I have found I can do a whole lot more than I thought. You need to learn how to be creative – and I am not talking about art projects, I am talking about learning how each child learns and grows. I sometimes have to be very spontaneous and come up with new ideas to try on the spot. Yes, you have to do it as a parent in raising children in general, but teaching stretches my limits even more.

I never was one to be organized. However, that is one of the great perks that have come out of homeschooling. I will not say I am now perfect, but, slowly things are coming together, organizing, thinking ahead, it’s getting there! All in all, I feel that not only have my children grown, but I have too. And, I do learn with them as well!

We do have our days, we do have times when I am pulling out my hair. But, that happens for everyone. However, I am very happy with my decision, and would not change it for the world. If everyone were to put all their great perks in life and all the tests in life in a bag, I would come back to my bag, no questions asked.

When I need help, there are many resources available – family, friends, and homeschool groups – both local and online. We are all in the same position and sometimes it is good to hear that others have the same issues – it makes all of us know that we are “normal” in the sense that it is okay that we do things the way we do, or that things go wrong. That is part of life.

Whatever is your part in life, hope you have help and support when needed and hope you enjoy it! Life really is wonderful most of the time!

Kol Tuv,
Rivkah

Whole Box Curriculum and Miscellaneous Stuff

I thought I would start off this posting with a little conversation I had with one of my boys – or rather a conversation he had with me that is.

Boy, very spontaneously: “Mom, you should run a school.”
After 6 years of homeschooling I think I was missing something.
Me: “Um….. I thought I already have a school?”
Boy: “No, one with lots of kids.”

I guess a school with 4 kids is not enough 😉 I think I choose to take that as a compliment that he likes learning at home with his mom, and he thinks his mom is a cool teacher. But, as I write this, I am sure his mind has changed for today he is not happy at me and does not like my teaching style! So, I think I will remember that yesterday he liked his teacher and try to forget that today he does not. 🙂

For those that do not know yet, the 4th Annual Torah Home Education Conference will be held in the Baltimore area on Sunday, May 6. All information and registration can be found at: http://www.eventbee.com/v/torahhomeeducation.

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I am trying to take a trip down memory lane. As I gain experience and confidence (and with money always helping to dictate direction as well,) I have tried a variety of approaches to teaching. I am always happy to move on and always happy for what we did.

As mentioned in previous posts, we first started off with getting a whole curriculum. I chose Calvert’s all in one package. It comes with everything you need to start teaching including teacher manuals, crayons, pencils, pencil sharpeners and paper, as well as support by phone, email or online chat. There is the option to purchase what is called ATS and with that you send in tests and assignments that the child has completed to be graded by certified teachers. At the end of the year you then have an official transcript so that if one is going to go to a school the next year (either because you want the child in school, or the child is going into high school – at the moment I believe Calvert only goes through grade 8) the child has official grades and do not have to be tested again to see what grade the child needs to go into.

It was always exciting, both for me and for the boys, when “The Box” came in the mail. It is wonderful for we would get it 1-2 days after I ordered it. Textbooks, notebooks, crayons, construction paper, glue, (and the important teacher’s manuals) were all there. There was not very much prep time needed, and for me that was a very important part; partly because of my personality, and partly because I had 3 children. Well, okay, I would say it was mostly because of my personality. I was one who would wait until the last minute to do things, and I was not accustomed to thinking very far in advance usually. My Pesach cleaning would start 2 weeks before Pesach, and yes, I would get it all done. Before I go on, I should mention that Calvert allows you to choose a different math level than the rest of the curriculum. So, if a child is in grade 3, but is a head in math, then you can order a grade 4 math program to go with it.

Ideally, one is supposed to read the manual before teaching for the day, for occasionally (it is more for the very young children) there is prep work that needs to be done. In any case, the manual tells the parent exactly what is going to be done for the day, what pages in what book need to be finished. It tells you the goals, what to say, what questions to ask to attain the goals, etc. I know that the math books come with an answer key, and I am trying to remember if any of the other stuff does, but am drawing a blank at the moment. Perhaps someone else can remind me. If there are any questions that arise, then you are always welcome to call in to talk to someone, email or even chat online. For those using the ATS, the teachers we had were always very positive and wanted very much for the children to succeed. If I had any issues, I could write to them as well, and they would write back with suggestions as well. The teachers would always write and tell the student the positive they saw in the assignments and tests and then any suggestions for areas that needed improvement.

So, that is my plug for Calvert. For when we used it, we had wonderful experiences. There are other all-in-one curricula out there. HomeSchoolReviews has a list of complete curricula, I have not used any others, but I think you can get the general idea – all-in-ones are just that – all-in-one. Great if you are unsure of what to include. The textbooks are generally the same kinds as the ones used in schools, so if you are planning on a temporary homeschooling, then sticking to the same format as a school does have its advantages.

I stayed with Calvert for 3 years. I decided to look into other options at that time for I was having problems getting my child to switch subjects. I would send him 10 feet to the cabinet and tell him to get something different out, and he would take 10-15 minutes each time sitting down by the cabinet. It did not matter what tactic I used to get him to go faster, he just could not. While I was sitting and learning with him, he was great, but to have to change momentum, it was terrible. At the end of the 3rd year, I decided to look into unit studies.

!משנכנס אדר מרבים בשמחה When Adar enters, happiness increases!

!משנכנס אדר מרבים בשמחה
When Adar enters, happiness increases!