Jewish – Page 5 – Jewish and Homeschooling in an Amazing World

The Good in Everything

Happy Birthday to my 12 year old! His Hebrew birthday was the past Shabbos and his English birthday is this Friday. Only 1 more year to go. The nachas from his troope practicing and his parsha singing has begun!

I apologize I did not get a post out last week. I was thinking about it, however, I spent my time finishing up my latest book (the fact that there was a sale on books last week helped with that!) This book is a Jewish Homeschool book. I write in hopes to help others. Homeschooling can be wonderful but very difficult at times. Often times we do not have any way to gauge our success or failures. Many times things seem to go wrong and we feel like a failure. This book is an accumulation of my blog postings. It also includes postings that are not posted as well as templates that can be useful to homeschoolers. We have our ups and we have our downs, just like every other family. (The book can be purchased through Lulu.com. I am working on getting it distributed through Amazon.com as well as in an ebook format.)

Aside for that little bit of excitement for me, I was trying to think of what I was going to write about this week. Since Chanukah is just around the corner, I had been coming up with almost free activites that the boys can do. I was racking my brain for a nice menorah for my 3 year old to make when he pulled out (on his own, without me mentioning it) his menorah from last year! He was so excited! It is a real menorah that is almost as tall as he is. I was excited as well for I had totally forgotten about it and never thought that at that age (last year he was 2,) he would have remembered it even if I had showed it to him. Well, that was one thing I did not have to worry about and it actually lifted a nice pressure off my shoulders. It is made of a nice piece of wood, decorated with paint, small wooden chips and tea lights.

I thought perhaps I could get off a little easy by telling the boys they were going to perform the story of Chanukah – complete with actors and costumes and props. They were excited and even started the process. I then figured the little one would really benefit greatly from arts and crafts, as well as the older ones enjoying themselves, so I had been looking at some fairly easy, almost free yet nice crafts. Chanukah is one of the holidays in which there is no shortage of suggestions. I did come across 2 sites that met my fancy a bit this year:

http://www.amotherinisrael.com/easy-inspiring-chanukah-craft-ideas/

http://www.tipjunkie.com/holiday-crafts/hanukkah-kids-crafts/

Aside from that, we have entered the last POPCORN phase. Yes, we are not done! (See why it is a nightmare for parents?! However, we like to think of it as summer camp for yummy boys, for they earn money in their scout accounts that can be used towards scout camp tuition.) We are trying to deliver all the tins and boxes – it is hard when you have only 30 minutes of daylight to do it each day. It is slow, but we are making progress. For those that we owe popcorn too, please don’t fret, we will try to get them to you within the next week. Please forgive us. We were on a roll this week when Someone thought our life was too dull. As we were on the way to the JCC to meet up with customers who bought, I got a call from DH. I needed to come to his work ASAP, and no excuses. He was in an accident. It was in the parking lot at work. So, I handed boys the phone and they called their customers and rescheduled meeting times while I changed the direction of the car.

Turns out he slipped on the little water that was left from the rain the day before (it was 50 degrees out, no ice.) It was a pretty bad accident, and we brought him to the hospital. To make a long story short, Daddy’s ankle is broken in 2 places and he needed surgery. Well, so much for some fun Chanuakah projects! From driving back and forth from the hospital to home (Baruch Hashem only 8-10 minutes away,) it was so much for pretty much everything.

We did have one of those homeschooling moments in the car on the way to visit Daddy. We had all been talking about retirement accounts and emergency funds this past week. It is so very important to start contributing to one’s retirement account as soon as one starts working – not 1 or 2 years later. It is also very important to save a portion of each paycheck to put into an emergency fund. Even though they are pretty smart many things just do not internalize just by talking.

I do not remember how the conversation started, it could be that I specifically started it, I just do not remember, but I felt I could internalize this lesson. The boys have been asking for various things, and unfortunately we have had to tell them there is no money. We have a budget and we stick to it. It is very important to keep out of debt. I told the boys that it costs money to go back and forth to the hospital, it costs money to pay for the parking (even though it was VERY reasonable,) it costs money to buy the extra food and other extras we need at the moment. How are we paying for it? With our emergency fund! Baruch Hashem our cost for this emergency will not be that much extra, and when we are past it, we will shore up the emergency fund again. Even while sitting in the front, I could see some gears start to turn.

I had this grand idea that since we homeschool, our school travels with us, even when visiting Daddy in the hospital. We grabbed our supplies and books, as well as some lunch and off we were! I was very proud of myself. Unforunately, the hospital’s internet is too slow to access Room613, so that was not a go. Each boy did get 1 lesson done, so it was not a complete failure.

The boys were wonderful. They behaved themselves, were quiet, only kibitzed one time (and it was a small kibitz!) but 4 boys walking around a small hospital room while Daddy’s foot not only hurt a lot, he had a migraine despite 3 various medicines that he was given, was not really good combination. They did, however, manage to learn 2 sets of mishnayos lessons with Daddy before I took them back home. The house remained fairly intact and even though I gave them a little bit of mussar, I was very impressed with how well they kept it. I have not heard too many complaints from any of them and so I’m contemplating purchasing each of them a book as a thank you present. I am itching to buy them each a book again, books are great presents and they get read and re-read and re-read, and re-read again. And, they are presents for not just one boy, but each boy, in his turn, can grow into it and read it. However, since money is tight, I have not been able to do it. This is accident is just the excuse I need to be able to purchase the books. It would have to come out of our emergency money fund and I definitely would not purchase books right now if it were not for the emergency! I think Daddy will have to agree to it. 🙂

This accident is also a great time to show Hashem’s great kindness and love. I tell the boys that everything Hashem does is good and is for the best. It is hard to see that when something “bad” happens. Over the last few days, DH and I have come up with so many brachos and good things. Baruch Hashem it happened in the parking lot at work and not while driving on the road. Baruch Hashem it was only as bad as it was, it could have been much, much worse. There was talk that Daddy was going to have to go overseas for work for up to 3 weeks. The doctor said it could be up to the end of the month before he will go back to work! Now, Daddy is not only home for a much needed rest from all the work he has been doing, he will be home for Chanukah for sure (and the boys are SOOOO excited about that!) He can even spend more time learning. Yes, it will be a long recovery, however, the surgery went better than planned and he is doing very well. There is good in everything, if we only look.

Wishing everyone a Freilichen Chanukah! May the light of the menorah shine light into your world as well!

Keeping Our Children

I am sitting here remembering that last night I thought of a good idea to write about but did not have the time. Tonight, I have the time but do not have the idea. My sister suggested talking about how my 3 year old vacuumed the area rug in our living room for 30 minutes (which normally does not get more than a minute or so of TLC time,) and how we should take those mundane tasks that we do and use those times wisely to clean ourselves spiritually and emotionally. I guess that idea will also work with the kitchen and dining room floor that he insisted he mop after an older brother did his share. There was so much opportunity to sit down and cleanse my soul while I waited for the inch of water on the floor to dry. If we would to look around and snag a little time here and there to re-Jew-venate, we would be so much further ahead. Alas, unfortunately I was busy trying to get all the BBB’s (beautiful bouncing boys) into bed!

The only thing I remember about the wonderful idea last night is that it was all about Emuna (faith/belief). Over the past several weeks it seems to be a recurring theme, at least in my mind, and I know it has not been any coincidence! It is like when you get a new car, all of a sudden everyone has the exact same car, though they were always on the road, it is just that your eyes were closed to seeing them. Only when we get that car do our eyes open. Too often we (or should I say, I?) go through the day and do not think. Life gets busy – teaching, coordinating children with schoolwork on computers, supper, nap time, house cleaning, etc. and before you know it, the day is done. What happened to it? Life can get meaningless and one can start to wonder “why”? When my children grow up and move out of the house, it will be harder to help them with these obstacles. We all want our children to not only remain faithful to the Torah and its teachings, but to WANT to remain faithful. I know that I want to remain, but will my children? Now is the time to ingrain within them the answers before the questions arise. The million dollar question – How? How can I instill in my children a connection with Hashem that is strong enough to remain?

I am not sure I have all the answers, but I lately I have sure gotten a lot closer. I have been trying to open up my children’s eyes by asking them what they are thankful for. I enjoy listening to their answers. Unfortunately I often forget, or should I say the day goes by and I remember too late to ask, but when I do it is nice to just listen. This is one time I always smile and say, “Ok!” and never try to change or “correct” an answer. After all, there is no right or wrong answer, and how can it be their answer if I butt in? A few times I have asked, “Did you mean this, or that?” just to clarify in my mind, but never to change their answer. Every time they have to think, it helps create a slightly stronger bond with their Creator.

Our community was given the honor of having Rabbi Lazer Brody come and speak last week. Rabbi Brody translated Rabbi Arush’s book, “Garden of Emuna”, among many other of Rabbi Arush’s works. There was one thing he said that struck me. Happiness. Judaism IS happiness. If you are not happy then something is wrong. Judaism is not wrong, Hashem is not wrong, there is something with you that needs to be fixed. Of course! It was like a light bulb turned on in my head. How many times have we heard of people who have gone astray because of all the arguing about minhagim (customs) or the strictness (with lack of happiness and love) in doing mitzvos? Someone who grows up (or just sees) fighting about who is right and who is wrong, or feeling that we do the mitzvos because we have to and we better-do-it-right-or-else attitude, why should they remain? There is a mitzvah in the Torah to be happy. If we are happy to do a mitzvah or happy that we have Hashem, then we want to continue. Yes, this is something that I knew, but it never dawned on me that this was the answer or was at least a huge part of the answer I was looking for for my children. The next step is knowing how to be happy. That answer is Emuna. If we have emuna in Hashem in all that He does, we will be happy. If not, we just need to have more emuna. (Now is the time for me to say that to help with emuna read, “The Garden of Emuna”!)

I need to ingrain into my children that Judaism is suppose to be happy and if one is not happy, they need to become happy, it is not Judaism that needs to be changed, chas v’shalom. Also, I need to give them the tools needed to create emuna so that when tough times do happen, and yes they occasionally will, they will know with their heart that it is them that needs to change and they will have the knowledge and ability how to make that happen.

We can try the best we can and we should, but like the concept we are trying to teach our children, we have to practice what we preach. We have to have emuna and daven ourselves that Hashem will help us all out in succeeding in this area. We have to work on ourselves. Not only will our children learn for it’s “Monkey See Monkey Do,” there is an added bonus that we ourselves will be more happy as well and what child does not want a happy parent!

With that said, tonight I am thankful that my rug is clean, my kitchen floor is now clean (and dry!) and the boys like coming to stores with me still. 🙂 What are you thankful for?

Isrug Chag – The Day After and Our New Elective

I hope everyone had a wonderful Yom Tov. We ended our Chol Hamoed with a mini birthday party for the now 9 year old (at a friend’s house!) and the two Big Boys had fun contacting more people on the radio together. It was actually a very busy day on the radio and they just flipped from one frequency to another to another making contacts!

The last Yom Tov day was the busiest I think of them all. I got the little one all pumped up on Sunday for dancing with the Torahs that after our “lesson,” he went around and collected most of our stuffed Torah collection. I did not realize we had so many, Baruch Hashem, and I do believe he missed quite a few. I am not sure where they all came from, for I only remember buying 4! He came up to me and announced that he was going to take ALL the Torahs to shul to dance with. I had to burst his bubble and tell him only 1. He was amazingly okay with that. And yes, he was sure to take the Torah of his choice (the BIGGEST one of course, and oh, it was red, just in case you were wondering,) both during the night and then again in the day. Everyone had fun, we did not get home until 4pm! I even let them bring over a friend after shul.

After all the treats, excitement and lack of sleep for boys, I have decided to put them to work immediately with school work. We did not quite get a complete day in, but it was off to a good start and I think tomorrow will be even better. We did, however, start a new course. They will get the benefit of the great outdoors, exercise, comradeship and home caring all rolled into one. In school, there are the required themes they have to cover, and then there are the electives that the teachers get to choose from to fill up the extra time. My boys also have electives.

They have started the elective course on Foliage Raking. This is going to be an ongoing course, probably done several times a week for the next two months. After that, I think there will be a course on Crystalline Ice Water. This course will involve the gathering of the crystalline ice water with the use of hands, shovels and even the tongue. We will also experiment with various uses of the crystalline ice water such as fort building and fort defending. Perhaps even the use of it for house construction. This course will last at least 4 months and classes will be held several times a week at least, if not more. Bet you cannot find these electives in a school! To view some more great homeschool elective ideas, watch this video.

Aside from our new elective, we also had a huge case of Post Wonderful Yom Tov’d Ness. In other words, children who have been on totally different cycles in eating, playing, and sleeping, and it finally caught up with them. I knew that at least one boy was going to have a difficult day. He crashed for a nap for several hours on Monday afternoon. It did not help that he forced himself awake last night, after Yom Tov, to read in his room until after midnight. I knew last night I was going to have my day set out for me today, and that I was going to have to wake him up early to start him on a normal routine as quickly as possible. If he was up early, he would actually sleep tonight and hopefully be almost his normal self for tomorrow. Yes, it was a difficult day for him. Everything set him off. Unfortunately, I did quite a bit of practicing of my voice raising on him today. Would have preferred voice training oppose to voice raising, but perhaps next time.

There is always good that comes out of everything. His off attitude was just a heightened manifestation of where his attitude has been going over the last month. Both Daddy and I have tried to check it and get it under control, but to no avail. Today, after the voice raising, and his being upset at what he considered his harsh Mother, I stopped and had a little talk with him. I have to admit, it is hard being a child, especially when you perceive yourself a lot more mature than your younger brothers. One brother can get annoying and you just want him off your back. You’re exhausted because you are reading a breathtaking book way too late and nothing seems to go your way. Mommy seems to boss you around, and your brothers seem to always get away with things (in your eyes.) *Sigh* Yes, it is hard being the oldest.

I would like to think that my advice to him helped, just a little, for it did calm down a bit the rest of the afternoon and evening. They all were warned they were going to bed early…. Well, I tried, however, they were all in bed at the regular bedtime, and yes, IN BED. Now, I did not say asleep, and I did not say they stayed in bed. Did have the little one come out because he was thirsty…. took several long gulps on multiple occasions before he finally went to bed and stayed there. It really did not take that long for them to go to sleep. I insisted that everyone was to be in their own bed.

Several loads of laundry have been done today (thanks in part to chores a poor boy racked up with his tantrums… I did fold all of the clothes for him,) the kitchen has been mostly cleaned up from some busy boys today by those busy boys (amazingly!) and now I’ll finish the kitchen, put another load of laundry on and do some exercising. I think there might be some leftover time to veg and perhaps do some reading before my wonderful husband comes home from learning.

Wishing you all an easy transition back to your non-Yom Tov schedule!

Popcorn, Yomim Tovim, Yomim Tovim and More Yomim Tovim!

Rosh Hashanah has come, Yom Kippur will be here in less than 24 hours. I have been trying to think of something to write, but nothing popped into mind.

Baruch Hashem we have been busy. Our annual Scout popcorn fundraiser is in full swing now, with $4000 worth of popcorn already bought – and that does not include the chocolate flavors that we could not purchase this round (the chocolate melts too easily we are told.) I am told the popcorn is much better than last year and not to mention it is in tins again. (All popcorn is OU-D, with the plain unpopped kernels OU-Parve – anyone interested? 😉 )

This is the best and worst time of the year. The best time for the boys to work on their socialization skills and go door-to-door and talk to all sorts of people – from young to old, from cranky to nice, from English speakers to non-English speakers. They also get lots of exercise for they do a lot of walking! It is the worst time for Daddy and Mommy have to go and take them all over, not just once, but twice when we have to deliver to the wonderful places that bought. But soon it will be over and we are hoping that the older two will have earned enough to go to one week of Jewish Scout camp in the summer (the number 3 boy has one more year before he can go!)

We sure hit our new year off to a good start with missing the first 1.5 days of Room613! Several boys thought they read there will be no classes the ENTIRE week, not just for Rosh Hashanah. But after talking to my sister and a friend on the second day after Rosh Hashanah, I found out they were wrong. Lesson learned: Read my emails more closely… It was not a total loss, I tried to add more secular work into the 2 days that would have been missed because of Rosh Hashanah.

We did not delve into Yom Kippur last week too much, probably should have, though I had other unrelated things on my mind. Sometimes I find it hard to balance personal learning and introspection with teaching the boys and helping them out with the same things. We did talk about some of the basic prayers and their meanings. I also found some nice Kol Nidre songs on Youtube to help get us in the mood. One thing I told the boys is that they should read the davening in English – especially the Al Chets. Since all the davening we do is for us, not Hashem, how are we supposed to put ourselves in the correct frame of mind if we do not even know what we are saying?

This week we worked on Yonah and the Whale. I found some nice one page versions for preschoolers and a cute song for the little one, as well as a translation of the Vilna Gaon’s work on sefer Yonah. That is set for high school, however, my older boys are getting some of it. They just had chapter 1 on chinuch.org, however, I was able to find the full English version at the Daf Yomi Review website. We are not going to finish what we have, but that is fine, that leaves more to learn another time. My youngest wanted stuff to color today, but the computer we use for printing was being used, so I will hopefully print out a copy of Yonah and the whale for him to color tomorrow while we sing our song or I’m working with the older boys.

Sukkos is right around the corner, and it is always tough to do Sukkos learning with very few days – I feel I should spend several days on Yom Kippur, and not just rush through it to start Sukkos material, but then I feel Sukkos gets jipped! I did buy nice 8.5 x 11 charts from Torah U’Mesorah on Sukkos many years ago. I do not always go over them with the boys, but I think it is time to do them again. When the older boys were younger, I did manage to do several projects such as a styrofoam esrog and foam/feathered lulav, however, lately we have been focusing on getting the sukkah all up and set that we do not do very many crafts for we are also still doing school work. We are fortunate for the front entrance to the house has three walls already and all we need to do is add schach on top. We have most of the schach (about 70 individual bamboo sticks), but it is not quite enough, and we always have to figure out where to find more! I think I will need to come up with one nice decoration they can each do, the previous ones are getting old. Oh, and I think I have one more styrofoam ball the youngest can paint as well as some green foam. I think an older brother might like to spend some quality time with his youngest bro. 🙂

I am going to finish up, drink more liquid, and try to finish getting myself ready for tomorrow night. Wishing everyone a Gemar Chasima Tovah and an easy fast!

Room613 Class Schedule for 2012-2013

Class descriptions can be viewed by clicking here.

Tuition and Course Fees

Main Schedule

* Classes with Rabbi Yosef Resnick *

NOTE: All of Rabbi Resnick’s classes are on the main schedule and are included in the Unlimited Learningmembership EXCEPT those marked “elective.”

All times are Eastern Time, except where otherwise noted.

Mondays

Morning

9:30 – 9:45 Davening Circle (*free and open to all member levels)

10:00 – 10:30 Jewish Thought: Hanhagos Tzadikim (Customs of the Righteous)
10:45 – 11:15 Chumash: parshat Chayei Sarah/parshat Toldot
11:30 – 12:00 Halacha I: Concepts & Topics in Jewish Law – Kitzur Shulchan Aruch Yalkut Yosef (and other texts)

Afternoon

1:00 – 1:30 Torah SheB’al Peh/the Oral Torah: Mishna (mesechta Sukkah, perek 4) and other texts
1:45 – 2:15 Nevi’im/Prophets: Sefer Shmuel I (beginning at perek 14)
2:30 – 3:00 Biur Tefillah: Insights into the Siddur & Prayer

3:15 – 3:45 Elective “The Thinking Jewish Teenager’s Guide to Life” (for teen boys)4:00 – 4:30 Elective Talmud: in-depth study of mesechta Brachos and others

Tuesdays

Morning

9:30 – 9:45 Davening Circle

10:00 – 10:30 Jewish Thought: Hanhagos Tzadikim
10:45 – 11:15 Chumash: Parshat HaShavua/weekly Torah portion (textual study)
11:30 – 12:00 Halacha II: Rambam’s Mishneh Torah (various topics)

Afternoon
1:00 – 1:30 Ketuvim/Writings: Mishlei/Proverbs, Tehillim, and other texts
1:45 – 2:15 Nevi’im: Sefer Shmuel I (beginning at perek 14)
2:30 – 3:00 Basic Torah Knowledge: Yediot Klaliot & Musagim b’Yahadut / Fundamental concepts in Judaism (based on the Torah u’Mesorah books and other sources)

3:15 – 3:45 Elective Hebrew Language Arts

Wednesdays

Morning

9:30 – 9:45 Davening Circle

10:00 – 10:30 Jewish Thought: Hanhagos Tzadikim
10:45 – 11:15 Chumash: parshat Chayei Sarah/parshat Toldot
11:30 – 12:00 Halacha I: Topics in Jewish Law – Kitzur Shulchan Aruch Yalkut Yosef (and other texts, rotating topics)

Afternoon

1:00 – 1:30 NEW! Jewish Service Learning; study of various topics in combination with community service: tzedakah, bikur cholim, etc.

*No classes after 1:30 on Wednesdays

Thursdays

Morning

9:30 – 9:45 Davening Circle

10:00 – 10:30 Jewish Thought: Hanhagos Tzadikim
10:45 – 11:15 Chumash: Parshat HaShavua (textual study)11:30 – 12:00 Halacha II: Rambam’s Mishneh Torah

Afternoon

“The Shabbos Trilogy”
1:00 – 1:30 Mitzvot & Halachot in the Weekly Parsha – Midrash, Sefer haChinuch, Ben Ish Chai, and more!
1:45 – 2:15 Shabbat Laws & Customs
2:30 – 3:00 Insights into the Weekly Parsha (not textual study)

3:15 – 3:45 Elective for boys ages 7–9: Kriah, Stories, Parsha & More!
4:00 – 4:30 Elective Talmud: in-depth study of mesechta Brachos and others

Fridays & Sundays

Private classes & tutoring (please contact me to arrange private sessions)

* Alternative Scheduling Option for LA Homeschoolers *
and all others who are not in the Eastern U.S. time zone

If you’re in a time zone that makes attending our live morning classes impractical, this plan is for you. Our Alternative Schedule offers unlimited access to all of Rabbi Resnick’s afternoon classes on the main schedule. In addition, you have unlimited access to all morning (and afternoon) classes as complete audiovisual recordings, available any time of day or night.

The schedule is subject to change. If you have suggestions or requests, please let us know.

Thoughts on Tisha B’Av

I hope you will forgive me if this post is not so into homeschooling like I would usually write.

I don’t do well with fasts usually, I think the big reason is because I have children and I have to move around. My boys are, B”H, all getting bigger, and I was able to rest in bed most of the morning. With some migraine medicine I am still very functional, slow, but functional and for that I’m very thankful.

As I am typing, I have approximately 1.5 hours left of the fast. Yesterday I went to a little learning group and as we were leaving, we were discussing that really is not that we should all have easy fasts (though we hope we all do,) it is that we should all have a purposeful fast. All day today I tried to figure out how to have a purposeful fast. What is the meaning of today, the saddest day in the Jewish calendar? Of course there are the physical things we do such as not eating or drinking for 25 hours, sitting on low stools for half the day, not wearing leather and not anointing ourselves, but these are only for the outside, the physical body, what about the spiritual part of our body, our souls? What are we suppose to do for that?

So, the big question is – what happened to cause this day to be such a sad day? We know that there have been so many calamities that happened on this day – both the first and second Bait Hamikdash were destroyed, the expulsion of the Jews from England in 1290, the Inquisition of Spain in 1492, World War I was declared, and many others (see Ohr Samayah). Why? Why on this particular day?

We know over 2000 years ago, Hashem had just taken us out of Egypt with 10 amazing plagues, He split the sea for us to cross, gave us heavenly food to eat and we had just received the Torah. We were poised and ready to enter the promised land, the land flowing with milk and honey. But even after all of this, we were not sure. Was it really a land flowing with milk and honey? Could we REALLY believe Hashem? Huh? After all that we still doubted Hashem? It is true. We wanted to send spies to the promised land to verify what Hashem really said was true. Hashem let us. Twelve spies were sent to scope the land and then come and relate a report to the rest of us. Then, a terrible thing happened. Ten of the spies told a negative report. They spoke lashon hara. Not only that, we believed the lashon hara and we spend the entire night crying. Crying for nothing.

Hashem then told us that since we cried for nothing that night, the night of Tisha B’Av, that would be a day where we would cry for something. Wow! Hashem was being so cruel you may say. Just because we cried, Hashem made this day to be full of terrible calamity for us. Isn’t Hashem suppose to be loving and kind and caring? This does not sound like a loving and kind and caring Hashem!

Let us take a look at the report that the spies brought back. Yes, they said the land was indeed flowing with milk and honey and the huge fruits they brought back showed that. However, there were also giants that lived in the land. The spies said “בְעֵינֵינוּ כַּחֲגָבִים וְכֵן הָיִינוּ בְּעֵינֵיהֶם” (Bamidbar/Number 23:33) – “…In our eyes, we seemed like grasshoppers, and so we were in their eyes.” Meaning, we FELT like grasshoppers so they must have thought we were. The giants never said they thought we were, but we thought so, therefore we must be. Grasshoppers cannot defeat giants. We gave up before we even tried!

Who are we to say what we are capable or not capable of achieving without even trying? We did not believe Hashem – the All Knowing, the One who created each one of us, the One who knows better than we what we are capable of, the One who performed all those miracles – and instead, we believed the lashon hara spoken. It turns out it was a punishment that we brought upon ourselves. It was us who turned this day into a day of mourning.

My older boys have been kvetching about each other all week. Someone is always seemingly hurting another, and it is obviously always on purpose. Obviously… to them, but not to me. I finally sat them down and told them (again) the story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza. In short, a wealthy man had a friend, Kamtza, and an enemy, Bar Kamtza. This man threw a party and the servant accidentally invited Bar Kamtza. Bar Kamtza thought this man wanted to make up with him and went to the party, only to find out that it was all a mistake and the host was upset his enemy showed up. After repeated attempts by Bar Kamtza to pay for part, half and then all of the party just so he would not feel embarrassed about being thrown out, his pleas were refused. Not a single rabbi or guest at the party said anything to help alleviate the anger and tension between the two men. In the end, Bar Kamtza set up a trick to get the Caesar upset with the Jews. Not only did the Caesar get upset, but he destroyed the Bais Hamikdash. (See a more complete story here.)

We sat and talked about what that all means – to have strife amongst people, to always feel that people are out to get you. What does that kind of thinking bring you? The destruction of the Bais Hamikdash. When we have strife with others, we are thinking only of ourselves and not anyone else. We talked about how lucky they were to be able to become close friends with each other. Most siblings are friends with peers, but not their siblings. Friends will come and go, but siblings will always be there, no matter where everyone lives. Baruch Hashem, my sister and I are very close, however, that only happened after we were both married. My boys have the opportunity to create an even greater bond by starting out loving each other now. If I hand someone a stick, they will be able to break it very easily, however, if I give them 20 sticks in a bundle, they will most likely not be able to break it. The same goes for brothers and sisters who are close and care for each other. When we are all united, we cannot be broken.

Okay, so they understand that they need to love each other and help each other, but what really does that mean? That means they need to start giving each other the benefit of the doubt. Instead of coming to me crying every time someone touches them so that they can tell me what the other person did and get that person into trouble, it means they need to believe that people are not out to get them. When someone touches them, or hurts them, they need to believe that person did not purposely mean to hurt them. Perhaps the person did not know they were there, perhaps the person was just wanting to get their attention and did not realized what they did hurt. It also could be that you got them angry and they reacted.

Whatever the case is, if we can have a more positive outlook at everyone – giving them the benefit of the doubt, that will prevent strife and help create love for others. When we have love for each other we are united and hard to break – just like the bundle of sticks. As this fast is coming to a close (just a couple more minutes over here – and yes, it has taken me that long to write and cuddle kids, and send them to bed!) let us take a few moments and reflect on our lives. How is it that *I* can create less strife? Who am I angry with and how can I resolve the conflict? Are they really out to get me, or am I taking things out of context? Should I be giving anyone the benefit of the doubt? How can I create more ahavas yisroel (literally: love of Israel – more love for each Jew)?

When we are united we are no longer thinking just about ourselves, we are watching out for the entire Jewish nation. We are also more careful to not speak lashon hara. It is up to each one of us. You may be thinking this is a hard and unimaginable task, however, remember not to quit before you try. We *CAN* do it, we just have to try. Let us not cry for no reason any more. Let us trust in Hashem that we really can. It is at this time Hashem will bring Moshiach, the third and final Bais Hamikdash and the final redemption, speedily in our days.

Musings on the 4th Torah Ed Homeschool Conference

The day after the conference, we finally made our way back home. We left Motzei Shabbos, spent the night somewhere on the road, and drove in to the conference Sunday morning. We left a little early but with only about 4.5 hours of sleep the night before, we were exhausted, and ended up spending another night on the road.

I was not scheduled to talk until after lunch, and that left me free the entire morning to listen to the wonderful speakers. It was absolutely wonderful. It is hard for me to sit here and write about how I feel, but I can say that I learned something from everyone, some had more relevant information for our particular family than others, but everyone was great.

By the time my turn came, I felt very small, after all, I have only been homeschooling for 7 years, and here I was trying to present material to parents who have been at it much longer than me! After sitting all morning, listening to wonderful parents and their stories , their encouragement and advice, was I going to be able to stand up to them? Would I be able to help and encourage others as well? I hope I did! I asked my wonderful husband how I did, and he smiled and told me it was great, but then added that he is a little biased to begin with. 😉

I think I will write a few things that really touched me personally.

The first speaker was Mrs. Susan Lapin. She is a vetran homeschooler – she started homeschooling before most people in the secular world even heard of the word. One of the first things she mentioned was that yes, her homeschooled children DID get married – and at least one got married to another homeschooled child. For those who are concerned about shidduchim, that is a nice piece of chizuk 🙂 She basically told us how she and her husband got started into homeschooling. Her oldest daughter was “loosing her sparkle.” They did not know what was wrong, but they did know that school was negative for her. If they would keep her at home, then at least it would be a neutral environment, and that is better than negative. They did not know what they were going to do, but they did keep her daughter home that next year and instead of just a neutral environment, it ended up being positive. The next year all children were pulled out.

Mr. Shoshana Zohari was another speaker that I listened too. She was talking about children in middle school, Bar/Bat Mitzvah and beyond. One of the points she talked about was about how she makes being Jewish fun and exciting. Anything they can do to keep the excitement, from singing and dancing and playing on plastic drums while davening to singing with happiness every day at lunch while everyone bentches together. Yes, it is hard to keep the motivation on the parent’s part, but I think if we can keep the goal in mind, it will help encourage us during those hard days.

I just want to mention my thanks to all the people who were involved in making the conference and gave of their time and energy to create such a wonderful, successful event – from the organizing to attending, to the babysitting – which I think is one of the most important parts. It was wonderful to be able to spend time with my husband and not have to worry about the children and know they are taken care of!

For those who were not able to attend, or like me, had to choose between speakers for they doubled up on speakers for most of the day, I understand they will be posting audios of the talks online. When I find out where they are, I will BE”N post the link!

A Lesson in Lashon Hara

I mentioned in a previous post that homeschooling parents like to take real-time life situations that happen to them, their children or otherwise and make a lesson out of it. It is a way of getting out of using a worksheet or finding/making up a story to prove the point. With a real-time life situation everything is laid out perfectly for us. This weekend was one of those times.

I hope that I am following all the proper procedures for lashon hara. I did some review of the halachas before writing this post. I have tried to make everything ambiguous here in the posting.

“Who is the man who desires life, who loves days to see goodness? Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceitfully.” [Tehillim/Psalms 34:13-14]

My husband has a subscription to a business magazine. As we sat down to dinner he asked me what I knew about a certain topic in the magazine. I had heard about the topic but did not know much about it. He proceeded to tell me all about the article – one person felt a certain something was bad, blogged about it on their website, and what ensued was the shutdown of 80% of a person’s business which affected about 6,000 people’s lives. All in the course of a mere 6 weeks. My husband told me all about the business and how the certain product was made, and then he told me about what was written in the blog. What he told me made my blood boil. If what my husband told me was true, the accuser (without much thought to their own words, or thoughts about doing a real investigation and really trying hard to see the other point of view to make a proper decision,) just slandered another person’s business – FALSELY!

Since the discussion with my husband, I have read the article in the magazine. I have read the blog article of the accuser in question, as well as doing my own investigation to try to find out the truth. What really struck me was not that I disagreed with the person, but that the person seemed to take the fact that their words destroyed thousands of lives almost instantaneously, very lightly. Very, very lightly. Even if one believes that something is hurting others and something needs to be done about it, that fact that one feels they need to take the livelihood away from thousands of workers, they should not just say “oh well.” One needs to understand the implication of “mere words.”

I told my husband that we needed to talk to our children about this. We need to use real life examples that they can possibly understand to try to instill in them what our words can do. Yes, words can create – the world was created with 10 sayings, but our words can also be used to destroy. We talked in depth today at lunch. I told the boys both sides of the story. I told them what I found out with my investigation. I then told them to think about it and we would finish talking at a later time. At supper I brought up the topic again. I asked leading questions like, “was anything wrong with either person”, “what was wrong,” and “why was it wrong and what should the person have done if they felt very strongly about it?”

I know that one talk about this important topic is not enough. I do not think one can learn too much about this topic. (I just recently finished “Guard Your Tongue” with my challah baking friends.) I also know that we did not cover everything that we could cover today. However, I feel it is better to give small amounts of information at a time, for they will not soak up very much if you give a lot at a time.

Now, for a change in thinking, I’m off to go grocery shopping and then to finish my talk for the Homeschool Conference which is in only 2 weeks! (Yikes!) 😀

Pesach

Well, as Pesach is getting close to being finished, I have decided that I actually have time to sit down and write, though my luck the boys will come in from outside or the little one will get up from his nap before I can get very far.

“Ma nishtana hashanah hazeh mikol hashanos” (Why is this year different from other years)?

For some reason this year was very different with all preparations than any in the past. When the boys were younger, I was the soul teacher, and it was easy to take a morning or afternoon and we would all head to one room in the house, tear it apart and clean it. The next day, or the day after, the same thing would happen to another part of the house, until it was all done. I do not remember what happened last year, but this year it was a little different. Firstly, last year I made a mistake – I started in the bedrooms and then worked my way to the basement, (leaving the kitchen for last.) It was a mistake for by the time we did the search for all the chometz, my dear husband was very upset for the rooms had been lived in again and there was absolutely no way we did any cleaning! (I think I vaguely remember after him yelling at me for the umpteenth time, telling him that next year he could do the cleaning…..)

So, this year I vowed not to let that happen again. I decided to start with the least used room, and work up to the most used (messiest) room in the house, and then the kitchen. There was only one problem – now that my boys did set classes online with their Rebbe, how was I going to grab their help for any length of time to clean? We ended up doing a room on a Sunday, and then on a non-school weekday (a Friday – yes, we only do a 4 day “schedule” – more on that in a later post, G-d willing) tackling the basement. We are lucky, there is not much in the basement (on purpose), and it was just cleaned a week or so before for our company that came over. The rest of the house I did the week before Pesach.

Why did I leave it so late? Well, other than just not wanting to drive myself crazy and work in the evenings and get to sleep late, I prefer to take the easy way out. Both cellars were closed off, as well as the garage, a few of the closets and the pantry. I also take the easy way out and make simple meals. I have a nice recipe I use for a whole turkey – I can make a soup, roast turkey, and shnitzel, in less than 2 hours. That is about 4 meals worth of main dishes.

My husband took all the boys to the zoo (2 hours away!) for the day, and that let me clean our room, as well as all the laundry. I won’t mention the bedroom took 4 hours (ouch!) As our room gets to be the “storage” room on a regular basis, it was so nice to get it back again!

I did not teach the week before Pesach, however, the boys attended their online classes. We enjoyed our seders. The boys look forward to jumping frogs, hail landing in their grape juice, and the largest locusts seen. And, while the rest of the parents are taking their children all over town this week, I am taking yet another week off of school and hiding in my room, letting the boys read, run outside, go to the library, and try to fly a kite. Sometimes I feel like a “bad” parent – but then again, I remember I spend quality time with my boys the entire year, and do not have to try to cram it all in to a few days at a time several times a year. It was not all so bad, they did have a bochor who came over for one afternoon and spent several hours with them teaching them different things, as well as another playdate for my youngest the next day.

We are also a one car family, and the weather the last few days has been weird, and I have been letting my husband take the van instead of riding to work on the scooter in the rain. And now, it is nice and sunny, no hail, no rain, and we do not have a car to go to the (local) zoo. Perhaps tomorrow 🙂 And yes, I know tomorrow is erev Yom Tov again, but there is plenty of time to cook and go to the zoo and take showers!

So, for those that read this during Pesach – I wish all of you a wonderful rest of the Yom Tov, and for those that read this afterwards, hope you had a wonderful and Pesach. Hope all of us are able to pull free from our enslavement of our Egypt this year!

(Oh, and yes, all boys came into the room, but they were kind enough to let me finish typing! Yeah!)

Keeping up with… the schools

I used to want to make all the costumes for my children. But that was when they were still little. Now, I’m too busy and it is just too time consuming (and probably more expensive) to do it myself. I admit, I opt for the quickest, easiest, and usually the least expensive way… I order the costumes online (I do most of my shopping online.)

Me to one of the boys, as we are ordering: “Ok, what do you want to be for Purim?”
Son: “SHAKESPEARE!”

Only a homeschooled child…… 🙂 This is coming from a boy who struggles to read, but is able to read one of his books. He enjoys it and he is very proud of that fact that he can read it. This book is all about the life of, well, you guessed it, Shakespeare. Of course I did try to do a search for Shakespeare, but we only found a costume for Juliet. He settled for a policeman.

Many religious homeschooling parents wonder if their child is learning all the religious materials that the children are learning in school. It does not seem like the secular subjects are too much of a worry, but it is all the hebrew/chumash/dikduk/navi/mishnayos, etc. After all, only teachers in schools are qualified to teach the religious stuff. If a child is not in a school, then that child will not learn what needs to be learned, and that child’s neshama is deprived. I have to mention that not all communities are negative towards homeschoolers.

Baruch Hashem, our community is one of those accepting communities. We did have someone come talk to us, not because they felt we were not qualified to teach our children, but he was concerned about the rest of the children – the more children in cheder, the better the children are yiddishkiet wise (of the ones in cheder), and the fact that we have several children not in cheder means the rest of the children are losing out on the possible positive effects of having that many more children in the classroom. (I won’t mention that this person’s wife came up to me one time asking about homeschooling – the cost of the several children they had in school was such a strain on them. Her husband promptly (and in a nice comical way) put a stop to the conversation!)

Of course, like all other parents, we want to give our children the best possible yiddishkiet background as we can, and are always wondering if we are doing the right thing, what can be better, etc. When we were first starting out, the main website that I found was Torah U’Mesorah. I was able to request a catalog so that we could purchase different workbooks and textbooks. They also have a sister site: Chinuch.org. It is a religious website that has content that is contributed by teachers for other teachers to use and the best part is that it is free! When my oldest was in first grade, I found a wonderful workbook/worksheet set for Parshas Beraishis on Chinuch.org. I also ordered a workbook on the Morning Brachos/Shema. This was the kind of stuff they learn in the schools. My son was going to have the same education. So our grade started, and I was very excited about the Chumash worksheets. For a few months we worked through our sheets and book.

Then, one day, it happened. My son and I were sitting at the kitchen table doing our various lessons. I told my son it was time for Chumash. “Do I have to do it?” “Yes.” “Can’t I take out my brachos book today instead?” Huh? What? I have heard that if one is excited about something (and shows it), the other person will get excited about it too. I *THOUGHT* I was showing my excitement for Chumash — I personally preferred the Chumash over the brachos book! And here was my son telling me he hated Chumash. Now, that was the last thing I wanted. I did NOT want my son to hate learning Torah. That day I told my son that yes, we did have to do Chumash. However, I put it away after that lesson. We finished our brachos book, and I spent some more time focusing on parsha for the next several months. After this incident, I had to rethink my whole thinking process regarding our homeschooling.

What was my goal? Was my goal to teach what they taught in school? It took a bit of soul searching, but I finally came up with something concrete. I do know that there are other train of thoughts on this matter, but I need something that works for our family, for our children. My goal is not to necessarily teach what others teach. My goal is to have our children love Hashem and to love Torah and mitzvos. I want my children to know how to learn, to want to learn, and to have the time to learn. Unlike learning how to read, or learning math skills, you do not have to go through Torah in a specific order. Learning is not what how much you have learned. I believe learning is the fact that one IS learning and loves to learn. If one loves to learn, then they will continue to learn and the knowledge will be there, and hopefully, and then some. Once that was laid out very clearly in my mind it became easier to decide what to do.

I focused on what we were doing, and at the same time I kept, at the back of my mind, the idea that I really did want my son to learn Chumash, and I kept an open eye out for when I should try again. About a year or so after we stopped Chumash my son came up to me and started this conversation:

Son: “Mom, why am I not learning Chumash?”
Me: “Did you want to learn it?”
Son: “Yes.”
Me, while smiling so big inside: “Ok, we’ll start!”

He did not start immediately for I believe we started our summer, and we do take summers off in general, at least for a good part of it. We all need our breaks. However, he did get to start his Chumash as soon as we started school again, not with me, but with his new Rebbe, Rabbi Resnick. Room613.net had just started up, and I enrolled my son in his classes.

Did I do the right thing? You tell me. My son loves to learn – Chumash, Navi, Mishnayos… he enjoys it all. Would I make the same decision over again? I do not have to say it, but, yes, yes I would.

Wishing you all a Freilichin Purim!