It has been a while, and I am not even going to apologize anymore for the lack of writing. Life is busy right now in general and has been for a while. I think it is just the boys growing and changing and we are trying to change with them. They are not the little boys they used to be – no longer are they little or dependent. Younger boys, I think I have the hang of, for the most part. But now, they are growing (some are even taller than me now – hard when I get frustrated and then I have to crane my neck to look at them,) and they are blooming even more into their own person – independent, testing new grounds, expressing new wants and desires.
Baruch Hashem. This is ultimately what we want from them. We want them to grow into independent people who can participate in society. I really cannot complain, it is just hard to constantly have to be one step in front of them to guide them properly. There is no book that tells me how to work with *MY* teenagers. That book has not been written yet. However, I have found that with lots of sincere looking and sincere davening (and tears don’t hurt either,) eventually Hashem helps guide us in the right direction. We are getting the hang of it. In the meantime, I have learned that it is good to keep them busy with things – either school, fun stuff or otherwise. Some boys get bored easily and then that is not a good thing, and some need to feel accomplished, so we try to get them to help us out and do things such as plan wood working projects where they get to plan and create it all basically themselves for they really can do it now.
I have made a few changes over the past few weeks. We had been doing a 4 day week schedule for several years now and I really liked how we could have Fridays to cook for Shabbos and clean and do errands, etc. However, lately I had been feeling so overwhelmed for we would not be done until after 4:30 pm and then I would go straight from there to getting ready for supper and after supper was cleaning, evening routines and
getting ready for bed. I was worn out before supper time. So, I have reluctantly moved to a 4.5 day schedule. Just moving one class over to Friday morning really helps. With the change, I now usually get 30-45 minutes at least before I have to start with supper. We are not doing all I had been wanting to do. I was excited to add in our Nature Study – which we have done once. Nature walks have happened most weeks, and one sketch per walk does happen. Mr. Little and I were sharing a drawing book, until he told me to get my own. Just showing his own little independence. 😉 Last month it was nice to go to “Our Spot” by the creek at the Nature Preserve which had boys creating dams from various nature articles. It classic spontaneous homeschooling at its best.
Also, as per Charlotte Mason’s schooling, I have started to put together a little list of some handicrafts that would be fun to do. One boy is in the middle of a wood working project for our backyard and two more are working on sewing puppet-wallets combos either for themselves or for cousins and not to mention the one who bought for himself a guitar and is anxiously waiting for his lessons to start. For one boy, we are really strongly encouraging him (aka “making him do it,”) to do more laining. He likes doing it and it is really good for him. Unfortunately, it looks like this year we are not going to be home for him to lain his Bar Mitzvah parsha since it falls out over Thanksgiving and we go visit family (but he was practicing it anyways today and it was nice to sit and listen to him even if he was mumbling it very quietly.) Oh, and I cannot forget that it has been cool enough now to enough some learning outside.
When I started writing tonight, I was thinking that things were not really going as nicely as I would like and somehow the days slip by and schooling does not feel like it is going well, but as I continue to write and recount what really has been going on, I am reminded of all the little things we have started and how that really adds to what can feel very monotonous otherwise. Perhaps the year is going better than I thought it was. Yes, we have our growing challenges, but the fact that they are happening while learning at home has been such a relief. One boy who is having a few more growing pains than others at the moment can do his lessons at a different time if he is having a more difficult moment. I am learning to be flexible (even when I don’t think I can bend any further) to help him out. When I am stretching and flexing with him, he almost always comes back when he is composed and ready and then asks for his daily work to do, and it can be all be done in a very calm and loving (but firm when needed) way which is such an added bonus for everyone. Not such an easy task for a school, but definitely something that can be done at home.
So, I feel as if we have embarked upon a brand new journey this year. It is definitely not as simple as it has been in the past, but it is something that will definitely make me grow and that is exciting. I have learned and grown a lot over the last 10 years and I am looking forward to seeing the new me. I just have to remember to keep my eyes focused on our end goals. It also does not hurt to occasionally put myself in time out and either just veg in the bedroom, or make myself 1 chocolate chip cookie. Just for me. Out of sight. Just one. I may have done it today. And if I did, it really did hit the spot and made me feel so much better, it was nice in one of the little new ramekins that we bought last week. Don’t ever underestimate the power of 1 cookie. Especially one with chocolate chips 😀 Be careful to not make it too often!